My Jesus has a .45

It never leaves his side

It’s holstered around his purple sash

With bullets sanctified.


My Jesus buys organic

Because he’s really ‘woke’

He doesn’t trust the system, man;

He knows it’s all a joke


My Jesus loves his neighbour

Because his neighbour’s white

He’ll vet the family across the street

To make sure they’re alright


My Jesus teaches yoga

Because mindfulness is key

His classes are relaxing

And completely dogma free


Bring out the candidates!

What do they believe?

With the power of Jesus Christ TM

Who knows what they’ll achieve?


My Jesus is a businessman

You should see how much he earns!

And, as soon as possible,

He’ll release his tax returns


My Jesus is on twitter

And has followers galore

He knows that, with this audience

One meme can change the law


My Jesus is tough on crime

And very strong on defence

He doesn’t like to be P.C

And will cause offense


My Jesus  has charisma

that will stop you in your tracks

Behold the Lord’s provision:

a donation from Goldman Sachs.


Bring out the candidates

They’ll teach us how to pray!

With the power of Jesus Christ TM

They’ll know what to say


My Jesus is an outsider

He’ll bring real change

So watch out, establishment!

You’re in the firing range!


My Jesus is experienced

And knows how to play the game

Voting for Him is a Big Step Forward;

Different, and the same


Who would Jesus vote for?

I think its plain to see

There was many  a polling booth

In ancient Galilee.


5 thoughts on “HWJV?

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